Tuesday, November 1, 2011


Why I think other people make better Occupiers than I do:

My friend J’s little brother A is at Occupy Wall Street, and last night around midnight a woman walked through camp wearing a very fancy dress and a very fancy coat and carrying a sign that said, “I’m the 1%. Thank you for paying my taxes.”

Now, being a suspicious and surly cuss, if I had been there (which I wouldn’t have because what woman in her right mind walks through a campground that is reported to have recent ex-cons and current drug addicts and other unpredictable people IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT with nothing to defend herself but a sign on a stick? [which, come to think of it, is suspicious in and of itself because the cops won’t let you march with signs on sticks because someone might get a splinter] so) I would have snorted and started looking around for the hidden camera.

But A is one of those people blessed with a more even temperament than me. Which is good, we need more people like that. Especially with hidden cameras rolling. Because…

She sidled up to him, “Thaaaank you for paying my taaaaxes,” she oozed.

“You’re welcome,” he said, and complimented her on her outfit.

“Thank you,” she cooed, “It’s my 1% dress.”

“It’s very nice,” he said, “But it looks a little cold.”

“Oh, but I have my 1% fur to keep me warm.”

Yeah...Oh I see you have your 1% diamonds also...Lady, I think your boyfriend lied to you. Those really are only 1% diamonds."

1 comment:

  1. (A, if I got the punchline wrong-- tell me and I will edit it. My memory may have dropped some important dramatic pauses.)